Creation Scientists To Search for Talking Snake Bones in Africa

At what point in history did snakes lose their vocal cords and legs? Creation Scientists turn to the Bible and the continent of Africa for an answer.

Freehold, Iowa - Most True Christians™ acknowledge that the key to solving the greatest mystery of Creation Science may lay buried deep within the heart of African jungle. Creation Scientists agree that snakes lost their vocal cords along with their legs between 8,000 and 7,800 BC. Today, modern Christians, like those at the newly founded, Creation Studies Institute, are spending almost a million dollars, and investing countless hours to gather the evidence needed to prove, without a doubt, to the secular scientific community, that the planet Earth was once populated with walking, talking snakes. "Christians have The Talking Snake Theory, and Atheists have Evolution," says Creation Scientist, Dr. Jonathan Edwards. "Only one can be correct. Sadly, until us Creation Scientists can prove that snakes once had vocal cords, I expect that them silly old hell-bound evil-lutionists won't take us seriously."

Dr. Edwards is leading the first of many Creation Science expeditions to Africa. "We pick Africa because we know that Eve was in a giant garden the last time she saw a talking snake with legs," says Dr. Edwards. "The Genesis account of Creation describes something very similar to the pictures of Africa that I've seen in the National Geographic Magazines I have stuffed between my mattresses, so I'm fairly certain that Africa is where these fantastic creatures once resided. In addition, Eve's testimony and conversation with the last known talking snake is transcribed word for word in the book of Genesis. I'm sure it breaks the Lord's heart that unsaved secular scientists have stooped so low as to question her eyewitness account."

(You can exhale now. Yes, it's a joke!!! This article comes from the parody rich Landover Baptist Church website.)